The Bad and the Blonde

Well I've missed a lot...I had promised to keep this blog up and failed miserably. I missed the opportunity to write about ECCC 2013, at which I met Kristen Bauer, Christopher Lloyd, Adam West, and PATRICK FREAKIN STEWART. It basically made my year. I don't know why a blog which I had intended to be a place I could rant and rave about all things nerdy would be such a hard thing to maintain-but alas-it has. I was wondering what would kick my butt into gear, and it took the 6th season of True Blood to do it.

Firstly, I was not a fan of season 5. Yes, it had tons of Eric goodness, but every single character-non important and vital-had their individual storyline which stretched the season too thin. I liked Terry-I love Lafayette-but they do not need their own individual tales. I know books will almost always be different than their film and television counterparts, which I am fine with. I do not mind seeing alternative storylines featuring familiar characters I have fallen in love with and I don't even mind them creating new ones, but there comes a time where if you are going to go off the path, you better make it a damn good highway and not a scattered trail you can get lost on and eaten by Big Foot. The whole Authority plotline was so dull. The only thing that kept me interested was the weird newly formed bromance between Eric and Bill. I mean, last we had saw, Sookie had told them both she was done with them, leaving them in their robes together....and then Eric is all rushing over to Bill after the car explodes in the opening episode of season 6...declaring he won't leave him and holding his hand. Um, I'm sorry, I was under the impression you two didn't like each other, and now you are all Corey and Shawn? Did you decide that since neither of you could have Sookie, you could have each other? I mean, I can see why Bill would want to climb Eric like a tree, but he himself doesn't seem like a very appealing prospect. Especially since he had nearly executed Eric on his last power trip. Then, before I had a chance to brush those little tidbits of mush as a simple alliance, the look of jealousy on Bill's face when Eric met up with his vamp-sister for the first time...not to mention his obvious dislike when they were going at it in the storage container kinda reaffirmed my suspicions. Something is up..

Then there was the piggy back ride Eric decided to give the much tinier Bill when they were high on Lilith's blood...or how miffed Eric got when he asked Bill to go to bed (yes, he asked him), but Bill was too busy turning into a vampire version of a raving Fox News loving, neo-Christian nutcase. And, to top it off, Eric seemed more horrified at the Billith transformation at the end of season 5 then Bill's former lover did. Anyways, Eric was the only thing that kept it interesting. And then I hear these rumors that they may be killing him off in season 6. WTF? Oh ya, killing off the most interesting (and not to mention SEXY) character on the series sounds like a wise idea...if you want to have a bunch of angry, vengeful fangirls destroy your show.

 I hoped (and still do) that it was a nasty rumor. Yes, we can suspect that Mr. Skarsgard would want to continue his US film career, but how freakin' hard can filming a 10 episode show be? Yes-filming is hard. I've done it. But there are actors who act in TV shows with far more episodes AND do movies. I'm sure he could suck it up, especially given how popular his character is on the show. Well, regardless, I was optimistic when season 6 started. It seemed to be more focused. No, it wasn't following the books, but we did get to meet Niall. Of course, his place in the story was very different than the books (considering Claude was killed by the mysterious Warlow) and they never mentioned any Dermott....but hey, it was a character I recognized from the books. Tara was more tolerable, and of course, we got a good dose of Eric. We saw him still show he had feelings for Sookie, that his love for Godric and Pam hadn't faded, and his weakness when his sister died. Bad wig flashback be damned (I had gotten use to it with Buffy), it was heartbreaking. It solidified why I had always preferred Eric over Bill. Looks aside, Eric IS more dynamic. Both TV and book Bill are dull. Turning into a power hungry zealot doesn't make one multi-dimensional, it just makes them a psychotic asshole that can't be trusted. Eric was never a saint-he was a vampire first and foremost, and an arrogant one at that. He always reminded me of why I loved Spike on Buffy (I went on a similar, BUT WAY SHORTER rant before, but I think this needs to be reaffirmed).

Yes, both are sexy blond badboys, but they also had many other qualities that made them the better vamp, better man, and more interesting character than their cherry-poppin good guy but really evil counterparts. Case in point-there are people who will always love Angel and prefer him for Buffy. He was her first love, blah, blah, PUKE. First of all, he looks like a neanderthal buttwart. Bill, Sookie's first love, may be SLIGHTLY more attractive, but he was never anything impressive. But he did sweep the leading lady off her feet. Spike, like Eric, was at first the foe and major pain in the ass of the vamp lovin' blondes. They were cocky, devious, with a wicked sense of humor. They both brought something interesting to their respective shows. And they both seemed to annoy the boring dull first loves, as well as their women. But then, slowly, you can see why the chicks started to show interest in them and they in-turn started to show interest-despite themselves (both of the vamps had some sexy dreams about their future lovers). Sure, it seems so contrived and cheesy, but both Angel and Bill were much more show. Another thing that both Spike and Eric shared was their complicated history and the importance of family and the hold it continued to have on them throughout their immortal lives. Spike had loved his mom, even when his soul left him after being turned, and he was horrified when he saw what a monster she had turned into when he tried to save her by siring her. Eric spent a millenia searching for the one that killed his family. They had held on to a part of their humanity that many vamps had let go of. It would be easy to brush off your family when you've well outlived them-even if it was a coping method. Angel and Bill were always moody about their vampire status, but they never really seemed remorseful. Both Spike and Eric were far from perfect. They were vampires. They killed. They even enjoyed it-but as time went on, they would use their powers more out of necessity-like a caged bear being prodded then a tiger on the prowl. Angel and Bill always pretended they were changed-different than the other vamps, but both of them ended up being the biggest danger to both Buffy and Sookie. How many times did Angel betray Buffy? And...SPOILER...Angel killed Giles. He's a fucking evil tool. How many times did Bill almost kill Sookie? And...now how many times did Eric try to kill her? He healed Jason when he could have just glamored him and them gobbled him up. He even saved the scream-queen Ginger. Spike had saved the Scooby-gang plenty of times. Sure, he may have tried to kill Buffy, but I don't think he would have ever went through with it. And he definitely wouldn't try after his soul was given to him-as a reward. Angel's soul was a punishment. Bill wanted Lilith's blood as a reward and to gain power. For Eric, it was a punishment. The only time I ever enjoyed either Angel or Bill was when they were with their blonde buddies. They were the straight man to the funny and comical Spike and Eric, and it made their dull deadpan manner enjoyable. In the end (well hopefully not for Northman), it was obvious who the better vamps were. It wasn't the stick up their butt emo vamps, but the more complex ones. Both Spike and Eric were vulnerable at some point-Spike was dealing with the immense guilt of a life of bloodsucking when his soul was slapped into him. Buffy had to coax the nearly insane (but harmless) Spike out of the basement. Sookie took in the mind-wiped Eric who was scared she wouldn't love him once he regained his mind. 

 And now, like Spike, I hope the flames that burn them up are not the True Death. Spike sacrificed his life to save the world, and thankfully, Joss Whedon (who doesn't shy away from killing loved characters) was smart enough not to end such a wonderful and well loved character. Eric, on the other hand, was innocently (ha) sunbathing naked only to burst into flames. Such a powerful and important character can't go crispy after lounging on a mountaintop reading a freakin book! It's insulting. You don't burn a man's weiner like that. Anyways, the rest of the show was absolute garbage. I was happy that Warlow, who seemed like something Nicholas Sparks wiped his ass with, got staked by Jason. The character had the potential of being interesting, but he turned into a bad Lifetime version of Twilight. Of course, I didn't really care when he went Chris Brown on Sookie. I'd slap the bitch too. TV Sookie is annoying, weak, and pathetic. Book Sookie, although still kinda lose with the supes, was at least strong. I did enjoy Violet. She has the potential of being a very interesting character (her and Pam's brief interaction was hilarious). I think Jason needs someone like her. He makes a very good bitch. Still don't know how I feel about Willa, but she has the potential of being interesting. I was just thankful she didn't seem torn apart when they did the stupid 6 months skip. I mean, she would be falling apart if her maker and met the sun, right? Not to mention Tara seeming okay...and she wouldn't be okay if Pam wasn't, right? And Pam wouldn't be alright if Eric wasn't....Oh vampire chain of command....you give me hope that our viking may still be alive. Oh and I can't forget James....not a fan of Jessica, but I really like James. He's probably the most decent (and hippy) vampire around. He would make a good addition to the TB Scooby gang. 

But none of them can replace Eric and trying to place Alcide with Sookie so he can be the main man isn't going to make up for it. Alcide was such a dull cranky character in the book. I didn't hate him, and I don't hate him in the show, but I don't love him either. Sam has had his ups and downs. Sometimes I love him, and see glimpses of book Sam, but other times he's kinda annoying-especially his whole mayor persona. Give me a break. Adam West is more convincing. I thought Sam was going to start preaching and speaking in tongue before dropping and rolling on the ground. And you know Michelle's friend is going to so get killed-Sam isn't allowed nice things. I'm still happy they've kept Lafayette around. I don't think he needs his own plot, but he sure can spice up any scene he is in. He's probably one of the most underestimated actors on the show. The dude wears the most flamboyant outfits like a boss. I mean, he owns that shit and it's awesome. Bill, like Angel, is such a little shit. Now he's "seen the light" and is back to normal-trust him-would he lie? Oh sure, he killed the governor, but it was only because he was momentarily a religious power hungry asshole. Now he's just a half-ass bore. Give me a break. 

If they keep that pile of poop around and carelessly toss Eric away, that show doesn't deserve to stay on the air. Yes, it would be a shame to waste such a beautiful creature such as Eric, who provides such a nice piece of eye-candy, but it would be a bigger shame to waste such an interesting character.