Day 1....

I need to get back to writing and I have come to the conclusion I can no longer wait for inspiration to hit. This is something I am going to have to force myself to do every day. I don't know at what point it became a burden to do. I think up until middle school I had no problem writing fiction and non fiction. It was just something that was fluid and natural. Now it's constrained and a hassle. Is it because I have become to worried about what I write? I never had that worry before. I was good and writing parodies and spoofs as well as original pieces and not once did the thought, "Will anyone like this?" run through my head. For the most part, I got positive feed back and it never crossed my mind it wouldn't.

Maybe I have too many distractions. Perhaps life outside of school is more of a distraction then school ever was. More and more I long for the days to be back in school. I know that sounds horrible immature and totally the opposite outlook someone my age should have....but it was a lot easier. Yes school life and homework was a pain in the ass....but at least I didn't have the worry of the future looming over my like a dark cloud. All I worried about was that day...or maybe that week. It was nothing long term. I'm not saying I didn't have goals or didn't put money in savings, but my day to day worry was more short term. I long for that feeling. I long for living more in the moment.

For starters, I am turning off Facebook. I don't know how long that is actually going to last. It is an addiction. I use to marvel at my friends who spoke of the WoW addiction. Get up...play....get home...play....play until late into the night. Play all weekend....How is this any better? Last I heard you couldn't play WoW on your phone....and I have that stupid FB app on my iPhone...It's with me everywhere. And with my recent feeling of being disconnected from the world, FB doesn't make me feel more connected, it makes me feel even less so. I have so many people on there I don't talk to...hell, some of them I've never talked to and have only added for networking purposes. I see pictures from people I have no real relationships with and the more I thumb thru the junk the more I feel like a spectator in the world not a participator.

I'm hoping this experiment will work. I hope that for the time being, the times I do spend on the computer are spent on something constructive, like writing. Let's see how it goes!